100% Relationship

A Romantic relationship involves two people who stake an interest with each other to be together for an extended period of time (with the eventual goal of the rest of their lives, though this isn’t always the case). They are partners in life during that relationship and in order for a relationship to work each person must bring their half, their full 50% in order to get a complete 100%. The problem with any struggling relationship or one that went bad can be identified when one or both didn’t give a satisfactory percentage to the other resulting in discrepancies (arguments, disagreements, and overall unhappiness).



Before I go any further lets take a quick run through at finding the right partner to even try a relationship. I hope everyone realizes that looks are not everything, and neither are the things that go with it. I know many people who only go after certain “type” or “look” and wonder why they don’t have much success. Also be sure that you are on the same page as far as goals and expectation page being on the wrong page leads to many relationship failures. And finally before we get into this a disclaimer, everyone must realize that in searching for their significant other you are at risk to run into the immature, trifling, damaged, or downright ignorant possibilities that exist for both males and females.



A big problem I find with many relationships is people who are not complete themselves trying to be in a relationship. No matter the reason, be it some form of mental, physical, or emotional abuse in their past, or a series of bad experiences with relationships, one cannot shortchange the possibility of future relationship success by carrying bad luggage. Even worse is hanging the mistakes and faults of past partners gone wrong over this person you are trying to be in a relationship with. You cannot make person C pay for the mistakes of the previous A and B. If you find yourself still struggling with issues from a previous relationship then take the time to avoid them (and subsequently dealing with anyone) until you take the time to heal properly. There is nothing worse than allowing your own emotional issues ruin another relationship (and possibly create bad experiences for someone else). Also one should ask themselves am I mature enough for a relationship or would I rather be “open” to running around and “experiencing” other people as I grow (make sure you figure this out and don’t hurt anyone while trying to find you own way).



The other issue is that people don’t know how to give their all properly. They either give too much (trying to cover for the other’s deficiencies) or they give too little (creating said deficiency). Nobody can give more than 100% despite what many motivating clichés may say. Trying to go beyond your own 100% for any reason, be it compensating for your partners lack of anything from esteem, respect, priority, or even love and care can cause damage to yourself and the overall relationship. Doing so puts a strain on yourself and does not help your partner grow or get better at what they are lacking. Instead make sure proper communication about your wants and needs (and your partners too) are communicated, and do your best to find out what you guys need to work on in order to meet them for one another.



Finally realize that all relationships either last till death, or unfortunately end badly (with the rarity of a “good” ending). Someone once asked me “what’s wrong with me? Why do my relationships keep coming to a heartbreaking end?” First one must realize that a relationship is an emotional and spiritual investment, so if it doesn’t work then there WILL be pain and questions left behind. Just because there is a failure doesn’t mean there is necessarily anything “wrong” with you. As with any situation one should always look realistically in the mirror to identify what they did wrong and could do better, and everything isn’t automatically the other persons fault. Sometimes two people who are nice and good just are not the right match for one another, also just because it didn’t work doesn’t mean there is no hope. Fearing failure is one of the worst attitudes you can have in life, and can prevent its full potential.



In the end communication can never be stressed enough when it comes to relationships, especially early on in them. By figuring out your goals and expectations you can avoid many headaches before they start to become painful. When early on don’t try to portray yourself as the “perfect” partner, being upfront here will make a better relationship and save you future troubles. After you guys are on the same page make sure each person is a complete individual, capable of being on their own, not needy of each other, but wanting. Finally cast aside all preconceptions, mistrusts and doubts and judge each person on their own character and what they display to you. Never forget your past lessons, but learn to properly apply them, so that you can find what you’re looking for. Remember to never give up hope, and never let a demon of the past capture your potential for future victory; by holding on to those bad experiences, you give the person responsible for them power over you. Let go, live, and learn.

Life Is Short

Life is short, how many times we hear such a cliché, but what does it really mean to us? How often do we even think of it? Why does it take the most extreme of circumstances that we can come by in our lives before people wake up and realize that some things are more important than people’s petty differences? Far too often we don’t think about the bigger picture life has to hold when we deal in our relationships with friends and family, and even with significant others.

We are inclined to argue and “beef” with other people for the simplest of reasons. How many times do we think twice when arguing bickering and rejecting opportunities to express how we feel? People have heard the idea that at any moment you say goodbye, walk away, or turn your back on someone it may be the last time you ever see them. Being as it may, based on the things I believe we have all witnessed, experienced, or said ourselves it is clear that people do not think about such a thing. Before you decide not to say how you really feel, tell the truth, be open and honest, or end things on a bad note, beware of that fact, and be more appreciative and respective of life.

The Overlooked

Over and over again I hear how men aren’t any good and how all men are dogs, or that there aren’t any good men left. I beg to differ, and here is why: most good dudes are often overlooked and unappreciated if anything. Also most so called women out there are worse than the dudes they talk about. There are plenty miserable excuses of so called “men” out there who thinks it’s cool to live up to the image of the “player” with a total disregard to the impact their actions can have. On the other hand there are just as many shady females, who carry and act out as miserable excuses of women. The sad part is after a while so many become so used to "the average guy or girl", that once a person finds a good partner they don’t even know what to do with them.

There are many bad apples out there on both sides, but this is exacerbated by the things that collective we do, for example:

A lot of women and men are attracted after the wrong type of partner, for a guy to go looking for the girl with all the skin showing (showing skin can be done In a classy way, but it usually isn’t) and that clearly exhibits all the signs and symptoms of being easy, money hungry, or etc, don’t be shocked or disappointed if she is!

Same goes for women, if you go looking for the so called gangster thug type, or pretty girl ladies man type, don’t be shocked if that ladies man is in fact that, a man with a ton of other women on the side, or if your gangster is a flat out jerk to you.

Often times there are signs that can be seen if we pay attention to, now of course they aren’t always seen, and people do lie and put up facades. If you take the time to get to really know a person, they should be the same person through and through. I see far too often girls say stuff like “yeah he has a funny reputation or can appears or seems to be wild and crazy, but when he is with me he is different” OF COURSE HE IS, because he has a agenda. Now everyone does things outside their standard character every now and then, but if you see consistency in how they act everywhere but with you, then know something is wrong. This goes for guys and dealing with women as well.

In the end the old cliché far too often rings true, “Nice guys (and girls) finish last”. If we stop overlooking that sweet guy or girl we know in our lives for the jerks that stand out and have to call attention to themselves. Take a good look at what the people you are trying to deal with are about and how they act in life that will give you the best indicator of who they are. And hopefully these good men and women who are out there can start finding each other.