100% Relationship

A Romantic relationship involves two people who stake an interest with each other to be together for an extended period of time (with the eventual goal of the rest of their lives, though this isn’t always the case). They are partners in life during that relationship and in order for a relationship to work each person must bring their half, their full 50% in order to get a complete 100%. The problem with any struggling relationship or one that went bad can be identified when one or both didn’t give a satisfactory percentage to the other resulting in discrepancies (arguments, disagreements, and overall unhappiness).



Before I go any further lets take a quick run through at finding the right partner to even try a relationship. I hope everyone realizes that looks are not everything, and neither are the things that go with it. I know many people who only go after certain “type” or “look” and wonder why they don’t have much success. Also be sure that you are on the same page as far as goals and expectation page being on the wrong page leads to many relationship failures. And finally before we get into this a disclaimer, everyone must realize that in searching for their significant other you are at risk to run into the immature, trifling, damaged, or downright ignorant possibilities that exist for both males and females.



A big problem I find with many relationships is people who are not complete themselves trying to be in a relationship. No matter the reason, be it some form of mental, physical, or emotional abuse in their past, or a series of bad experiences with relationships, one cannot shortchange the possibility of future relationship success by carrying bad luggage. Even worse is hanging the mistakes and faults of past partners gone wrong over this person you are trying to be in a relationship with. You cannot make person C pay for the mistakes of the previous A and B. If you find yourself still struggling with issues from a previous relationship then take the time to avoid them (and subsequently dealing with anyone) until you take the time to heal properly. There is nothing worse than allowing your own emotional issues ruin another relationship (and possibly create bad experiences for someone else). Also one should ask themselves am I mature enough for a relationship or would I rather be “open” to running around and “experiencing” other people as I grow (make sure you figure this out and don’t hurt anyone while trying to find you own way).



The other issue is that people don’t know how to give their all properly. They either give too much (trying to cover for the other’s deficiencies) or they give too little (creating said deficiency). Nobody can give more than 100% despite what many motivating clichés may say. Trying to go beyond your own 100% for any reason, be it compensating for your partners lack of anything from esteem, respect, priority, or even love and care can cause damage to yourself and the overall relationship. Doing so puts a strain on yourself and does not help your partner grow or get better at what they are lacking. Instead make sure proper communication about your wants and needs (and your partners too) are communicated, and do your best to find out what you guys need to work on in order to meet them for one another.



Finally realize that all relationships either last till death, or unfortunately end badly (with the rarity of a “good” ending). Someone once asked me “what’s wrong with me? Why do my relationships keep coming to a heartbreaking end?” First one must realize that a relationship is an emotional and spiritual investment, so if it doesn’t work then there WILL be pain and questions left behind. Just because there is a failure doesn’t mean there is necessarily anything “wrong” with you. As with any situation one should always look realistically in the mirror to identify what they did wrong and could do better, and everything isn’t automatically the other persons fault. Sometimes two people who are nice and good just are not the right match for one another, also just because it didn’t work doesn’t mean there is no hope. Fearing failure is one of the worst attitudes you can have in life, and can prevent its full potential.



In the end communication can never be stressed enough when it comes to relationships, especially early on in them. By figuring out your goals and expectations you can avoid many headaches before they start to become painful. When early on don’t try to portray yourself as the “perfect” partner, being upfront here will make a better relationship and save you future troubles. After you guys are on the same page make sure each person is a complete individual, capable of being on their own, not needy of each other, but wanting. Finally cast aside all preconceptions, mistrusts and doubts and judge each person on their own character and what they display to you. Never forget your past lessons, but learn to properly apply them, so that you can find what you’re looking for. Remember to never give up hope, and never let a demon of the past capture your potential for future victory; by holding on to those bad experiences, you give the person responsible for them power over you. Let go, live, and learn.