The New Millenium Man?

I’m not even sure where to begin on this one; I think to myself how has the idea and concept of being a “man” gone so wrong? Men are supposed to be the backbone of the family, the support, the breadwinner, the first example to baby boys of how to be strong and loving, and the first example to baby girls of what a real man looks like, and what a husband should be. I think it’s when the “man” decided to decline into the anti-family, responsibility skirting, proud to do wrong, overall poor excuse that he has become today. I can only address those 3 issues (there are more but I believe these are the worst offenders) at a time, so let’s begin:

The “anti-family” man is now the norm, what a shift from the good old days of the proud family man. Society and culture has shifted from a young man running around and finally settling down to raise a family, to blowing clean into full even middle aged and beyond adulthood with no regard or care to family. Isn’t there an age limit on being a bachelor? I guess 30 is the new 20 because the lack of maturity in 30+ year old men still dressing like they did when they actually were 20 is ridiculous. Sure not everyone is or should be married, some guys just aren’t the type that could or need to get married cause it would only lead to calamity. However some people never grow up, and clubbing it up well into your mid 30s is nothing to be proud of (this goes for women as well).

Skirting responsibility? No not real men? Right? Another sad but true statement. A great turning point in the decline of American society is the age where men got women pregnant and didn’t step up to the plate. Whether it was your main squeeze or women on the side, your child is your child. There was a once upon a time when men and women got married if the women was pregnant or at least got together in an effort to TRY to make it work. Now instead men just keep it moving and never look back, they carry on with their lives or with their main squeeze (after getting women on the side pregnant) like nothing ever happened. This has create a generation where having a single parent is way too common, and now that generation is trying to raise children of their own while hitting the same pitfalls that their parents hit for lack of guidance and example. Then there are guys who figure if they send some money, pay child support, and give a call or visit from time to time they can say they took care of responsibility and are worthy to be called fathers. Responsibilities are not just financial, they are emotional and spiritually to your children to do right by the women they call mom, and by them to show them a good example and give guidance.

The standard of what is now easily accepted as man hood has fallen so low that we are now proud to do wrong, and we don’t hold ourselves or those around us accountable for their misdoings? We applaud a man who goes and uses and abuses women, even gets them pregnant and keeps it stepping, and if we aren’t applauding with praises of “pimp” and “player” we are condoning by not speaking up at all like it’s all good. Even when we do call a guy a “man-whore” or “ho” it’s still not negative, we still act like its ok. How can one man call another trustworthy or reliable when they lie regularly and skip their responsibilities to everyone but their “boys”. If we had the fortitude to hold each other accountable, and challenged and treated wrong for what it is, then maybe we wouldn’t live in a world where such behavior is acceptable.

In conclusion is I say it once I will say it a thousand times, nobody is perfect and we all do wrong and make mistakes, but real men (and yes real women) own up to them and make them right. I will be the harshest with the men, because we are supposed to be just that, men. Even in light of the recent tragedy of Steve McNair, who was an outstanding NFL QB, and humanitarian, who was murdered by the women he was cheating on his family with. No matter how good we would like him to of been, he died because he was doing wrong, and he didn’t get a chance to make it right, he lost his life and in the process failed his wife AND children. When a man cheats on his wife with kids, he cheats on the children as well. It’s hard to explain the love and care you have for a person when you disrespectfully do their mother wrong. And for the record let it be known if you are in a relationship, break it up before cheating, be a real man and tell her you’re not happy and end it right before you end it wrong and cowardly. For all those who may read this, and you know you are guilty of the above or worse, then it is never too late to turn it around and make things right. Don’t be content to just let it be, or discouraged by the right rage and hardship that owning up may bring, because as we saw not everyone gets a chance to fix things. Life is short, so live it, that doesn’t mean go buck wild, it means live to the fullest with respect to it, to yourself, all those whom you will encounter and affect, and the potential children you will leave behind.

The Cycle

In life we encounter bad relationships and experiences that can have a lasting impact on our lives. Bad experiences are a part of life that have to be taken in stride and used for our own good. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason whether we know it or understand it at the time. Often times the bad experiences of life teach us things about ourselves and others that we need to know to be successful. In this particular situation I am going to cover how bad relationships have a exponentially negative effect tat we must be aware of.

There is a cycle of good people being “corrupted” by the bad. I know many guys (myself included) and girls who have been flat out ripped in a relationship while trying to do the right thing. When you face any negative thing in life you can respond either positively or negatively. Many people often respond negatively by allowing the event to change who they are for the worse by losing faith in certain aspects of life such as relationships. Therefore they act out and carry themselves like players, or become promiscuous, or even decide to change sexual orientation.

One cannot allow the negativity to drastically alter their lives, of course there will be something learned, and a period of recovery afterwards, however we must bounce back. If you are a nice person, and you have face a ton of meanness and negativity out here in the world, and you will realize the fact that it is a tough world out there. That does not mean you should stop being the nice person you are, but you will learn the toughness it takes to exist and not be walked on, and find out with who and where your kindness is effective for others and still defensive of yourself. Unfortunately sometimes people feel like its no use being kind and become the same type of person that got them to this point. If you allow people or experiences to alter you like that, you give them power over you!

On the opposite end of this are those who go through something and don’t learn from it. There is nothing worse than making a mistake, and not learning from it so you end up doing it again. No matter where and if you fall in any of these categories know that the bad things in life are there to teach us something. It’s ok to be upset, and even a bit down about something, but after a while you have to stand up and be the person you would be no matter what, by learning from mistakes, and not becoming the same thing that hurt you.