Invest In Yourself

Far too often I see men and women take themselves through so many relationship issues that it ruins relationships for them. That is how we end up with the idea that there are no good men, or no good women. People start so early and often so recklessly especially at the younger high school and even middle school age. Many people are fine until they hit college and then they lose control. We have got to start thinking about the far reaching consequences of our sexual actions. At too young an age we start, and too often in the college years we go wild. Each time you engage in another you take apart of them. For the men they lose just one more piece of their respect toward women and eventually a family, losing that part of being a respectable husband. For women they lose their self respect and ability to be a respectable wife one day.

Think about it, after seeing such dirty, cruddy things, being cheated on, or even doing crazy stuff ourselves how does that affect your views. Often the men and women who do the most and the worst, were hurt themselves, both stop caring, both lose self respect and eventually the good go bad. After that you can cause a lot of damage to yourself very quickly piling up high body counts and doing things we often want to forget about. Before long you end up with a past you cannot change making excuses as for why its ok.

There is nothing worse than coming across the person that's perfect for you yet your past is a deterrent to a future with them. As men too often we mess around without thinking about the consequnces on ourselves and her. For men its often not until you have the wrong women pregnant that we feel the error of our ways. As a women when you feel sick afterwards, and you realize your body count is high you feel it. Both sides stop caring, both sides often hide their pain in drugs and alcohol. Both sides see their relationships get worse or more and more empty, eventually you lose hope in finding the right one.

Its only a matter of time when you grow old and alone and eventually more and more broken families, more and more unhappiness. Its sad to see good people searching for something their past has robbed or limited them of. "You only live once", "only God can judge me", and a whole list of cliches that give us excuses to act reckless and avoid being held accountable. Only God is the master of the universe and ultimate judge, but we are human, we do judge, and we must make decisions based on the information available, no man wants a women with a long and alarming history, no women wants a man who has a high body count and lost his respect for women and relationships. Not to mention the baggage that comes with failed relationships and partners. Its even harder to move on when you have children from a past relationship.

The more you guard your relationships and sexual partners you invest in yourself to make yourself more valuble down the line to your potential mate. I am not saying everyone is going to be a virgin, but if you are going to cross that line make sure that person is worthy, make sure you are in a relationship committed to one another. Treat it like you are vetting your presidential running mate, dirt from the past can and will cause issues, do you really want to bring that into your campaign?

As you read this know that each day you draw breath you can make a change, you cannot change the past but you can start rebuilding your future. Do not lose hope, do not give up, do not give in. There are so many things acceptable in the culture of today, that does not mean they are ok.  Start over and from this day forward carry yourself with pride and respect, the way our parents would be proud of, they way your future spouse would be proud of.

Think twice before you keep sharing yourself with others, after a while you have nothing of yourself left to give when the time is right.

Life Is Not Promised

This is going to be short, sweet and to the point. Far too often I hear people put off responsibilities and goals in life such as getting married, getting their lives on track etc. Even worse are those that live in a reckless way due to always present and popular "Yolo" train of thought. I offer this notion, who told you life was promised?

So many people delay their goals and responsibilites but who said it was guaranteed that you would see 50? 40? Or even 30? There are people dying young each day in this world leaving behind so much unfinished. Each day you wake up could be your last, some take this to "live life to the fullest" in a party style, some live life to the fullest in a responsible success driven way.

Every human being has the right to do as they please and believe what they want. But dont take too much of life for granted. I encourage all to think about what legacy you leave behind and what impact you would have on those around you if this were your last day. If you know you would only see 30 or 40 would that change your outlook and when you decided to take life seriously? Think about it.

Depression Is Real

The hardest enemy to fight is on that you do not believe exists, one you do not take seriously and one that you neglect. That is what makes depression and mental health so dangerous. It is written off, not taken seriously and ignored. People simply think your either crazy or your fine and its not that simple. You can be a perfectly healthy person and catch colds, get strep throat, or any other random infection and if not treated it will wreak havoc to your body. The physical symptoms are easy to spot and treat, but when the only person who really knows is yourself or your close friends its harder to spot. If its hard to identify then it cannot be treated and it only gets worse.

Depression strikes those of all types, all fame, all fortunes. This is the reason you see so many stars from actors to musicians to athletes all struggle. They show cracking with public outbursts, heavy drug use even to their own detriment and deaths. I use the recent tragedy with Junior Seau as an example. Nobody but him and the lord knows what really went on with him, but he seemingly had everything one can ask for, money, women, and a great and respected career. What is true is that something was bothering him, he did not ever share it or talk about it or get it properly addressed before he took his own life. Some may say the blows to his head may have contributed, either way there are far more formers players who endured blows and went on to survive, no matter how you slice it mental health played a role here. After the tragedy NFL Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall  wrote this piece discussing his own struggles with mental health.  Marshall is a young famous millionaire, I need not elaborate of how things should be fine with him, but they were not. Marshall sought help, found he did have a problem and was treated.

I would like to echo those thoughts of Brandon Marshall. I too believe that people avoid this issue of mental health due to the stigma and connotations associated with. By not addressing the problem they allow them selves to get worse and worse until they become a shell of themselves, someone they do not recognize. Days simply get worse and worse and the pride, the strength, or maybe even not wanting someone close to see you weak makes you destroy yourself. Everyone standing has someone in their life willing to hear them if they open up, but first one must accept the fact that something could be wrong. Just give it a thought and be open to the possibility of getting yourself checked out if you know you suffer from the symptoms (taken from WebMD):

• difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• fatigue and decreased energy
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• irritability, restlessness
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• overeating or appetite loss
• persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Some of the signs are more simple than you think, do not destroy yourself by letting a simple problem get big. Too many people have lost their lives or made too many mistakes due to depression, if you think its a possibility then check out more information here. I ask that you all recognize depression as a worthy foe, least he defeat you before you ever know it.

Public Priorities

Before I begin let me point out that I have spent the overwhelming majority of the past six year in the 757 area I dropped a friend off the other day over in northeast Washington, DC before riding past the old Hechinger mall on Benning Road. I had not seen this area in years and I was pleased to see the growth and development and then shocked to notice rail tracks in the far left lane. I thought to myself what is this for? Further investigation revealed a city plan to add a Rail car system to the city for the price tag of $200 Million Dollars and an addition $50 Million dollars for the design contract.

Stop, are you thinking what I am thinking? Doesn't the city already have one of the finest public transportation systems in the world? Well maybe buses don't run this route... oh wait buses cover the majority of this route? Hmm, I don't know about you but with a very successful METRO system having to raise prices to cover rising costs and so many needs flanking the city  from crumbling schools to terrible roads I find it hard to believe that such an excessive project was approved. Now I support the revitalization of many areas and I may be late ass this was approved in 2009 but this is none the less outrageous. The same purpose could have been served by expanded bus coverage for over a hundred million less. Laying the extra infrastructure along with the fact that expansion is necessary to complete and justify the project costing even more money is reprehensible given the glaring needs of the city else where.

This reeks of a statement project whose sole purpose is to be a high profile object to remember a politician by. I will admit step by step the entire city is slowly being revitalized. Some people did not support spending for the Nationals Stadium but it helped get desolate areas of the city improved. I am for improvement but not for the gentrification that is occuring in the city. I may touch on this in a later article.

Councilman Marion Barry has tried to halt the project for the reasons outlined above. Despite Marion Barry's troubled past he is known and supported for doing all he can to help the city's poorest and worse off. He was quoted as saying "I need five recreation centers in Ward 8" which is a valid point, yet here we are with a shiny new street car service, I hope its worth it.

Its Always Your Own People

Make no mistake about it Washington, DC is Chocolate City. Here we have a high concentration of African Americans and not just for DC but for neighboring Prince Georges County. With a majority of the population we have a very unique view of black politics. There are very few places in the country that have majority black populations electing black leaders. That being said it saddens me when I think of black politics here in the last 25 years.

Former PG County Exec. Jack Johnson (Center) Picture from MD Gazzette

For Washington, DC city councilman Kwame Brown (Don't even get me started on that name which has already done damage in DC) is a prime example of corruption and screwing over your own people. He recently resigned in the face of alarming accusations, overspending and abuse that seems to become an alarming pattern in local black politics. former Mayor Adrian Fenty was considered a decent mayor but was voted out when people believed he "sold out" his primary constituents for the more affluent sides of town and it was discovered that numerous city contracts coincidentally went to his fraternity brothers. Former PG County executive Jack Johnson was sentenced to 7 years prison for corruption last year. He and his wife abused local government for their own gain racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars. His Wife Leslie Johnson was a PG County councilwoman who attempted to hold her council seat despite corruption charges and eventually being arrested stuffing nearly $80,000 in her underwear during an FBI raid. She was eventually convicted and sentenced to 1 year in prison. 

The most public and historical careers in local politics is the notorious Marion Barry. He is the former mayor of DC and most notoriously known for being video taped and arrested for drug use during his third term as Mayor. After serving six months in Jail he returned and was re-elected Mayor in 1994. Despite his shortcomings and personal struggles a former drug addict was one of the greatest politicians the city has ever had. Her related to his people during the rough crack epidemic and murder capital years. He helped turn around the crime and built community centers and worked tirelessly to help the people at the bottom of the city, those most often forgotten. At least his corruption was personal and he never gouged his own people's resources.

At the end of the day nobody is perfect and there will always be someone who disagrees on your position, but flat out ripping off the public is a monstrosity. Any public official of any race ripping off any people is a major problem nationwide and is a huge part of why so many small governments are in the red. I don't know about you, but as an area resident and African American I am outraged twice over. I may be a touch late but I am tired of this cycle. What happened to the days of running for office to better a people or better your home? Small time corruption like this that goes uncaught merely balloons as a politician works his way to the top. Think about that next time you ignore those local elections, maybe one day I will be running.

Changing The Culture of Football

Before we begin this article allow me to lay out my football background. I played varsity football for 3 years in high school and earned a scholarship to a Division I mid major university where I played 2 years earning a conference title along the way. I did not start playing from a young age and the quality of play in high school was pretty weak (as far as how good my team and our opponents were). That being said I still understand the culture that is laid out there nationwide and at all levels that must being to change. Let it be known I am not and advocate for "watering down" the game but I do understand that there must be a change.

The recent tragic suicides along with the debilitating damage done to the older retired NFL players has come to light more than ever in recent years. The NFLs new found emphasis on player safety and crackdown on head blows is not enough in the fight for improving the games safety while keeping its integrity intact. For anyone who plays the great game of football they clearly understand the risks involved. On any given play one bad hit can cost you your ability to walk or even your life. Even the workouts associated with getting ready to play the game can be life threatening if your health is not properly monitored or you are not physically prepared. All of this brings me to this argument; the issue with football at all levels is not the blows but with the culture of playing hurt.

It is seen at all levels the idea of the player "toughing it out" or "walking it off". I have seen players risk life and limb for the sake of playing the game. Its not just playing with concussions, its all injuries. In this country we herald an athlete a hero if he walks back on the field of play with an injury and wins. It is to the point where I honestly believe that certain injuries are inflated (at the professional level) just for the drama of seeing a player return to the field a warrior. This is where I believe we go wrong as players, coaches and fans. I have heard from my own coaches the idea of laying your body on the line and sacrificing oneself. I have seen teammates suffer physically altering injuries just to avoid surgery so as to stay on the field. Even the simplest of injuries can create long term damaging effects if not properly treated and exposed to further damage. Across all sports athletes have shortened their careers and ability to walk in the future by playing through pain. When it comes to the head blows and brain trauma you just may be shortening your life or degrading your quality of living in the future.

It is one thing when you see this behavior at the professional level where they make millions to sacrifice themselves. However I find it sad when its the high school player sacrificing his body just to play or just for a chance to get to the next level. The college athlete giving his all just to earn his school and conference millions while he plays for an education and the slim chance at the pros is just as sad. These examples are sad because no matter how much love and passion you have for the game it is still a game. Not everyone makes the Varsity team in high school, of those only a handful will go on to play in college and of them only a chosen few will ever sniff the NFL, and finally Even at the NFL level even less will play longer than 4 years.

I remember back when "water was for the weak", coaches actually frowned upon excessive water drinking during practice. Then a string of nationally publicized deaths from heat stroke including NFL lineman Korey Stringer started to change hearts and minds. We stand on this precipice again with this "warrior" culture, let these tragedies be not in vain. I believe that football should be played with passion, give it your all, but when your hurt your hurt, when your out your out, let the game be a game.There is nothing wrong or soft or weak about getting proper treatment and rest for an injury or properly identifying one in the first place. This is being intelligent about your own well being not weak. At the end of the day you are just a player and can be replaced in a heartbeat at all levels, so guard yourself because nobody knows you like you.

The Price of Free Speech

As an American nothing is more precious that our rights. Rights are the very reasons the settlers traveled across an ocean to land never seen and barely heard of to found a new nation. Rights are the reason this fledgling country went to war with the greatest military empire in the history of the world. Rights have created social issues that have torn the fabric of this nation on more than one occasion. With every sacrifice and drop of blood shed on every foreign continent is was always in the name of the rights and freedoms we have here in America. So why is it that now, 236  years after the founding of this nation, 147 years after the end of the civil war and the end of slavery, and only 48 years since the passing of the civil rights act does it seem that we have less rights than ever?

Multiple rights are eroded based on state laws, job and position and the ever growing push toward political correctness in America.You have the right to bear arms yet in most states there are so many regulations on gun ownership that it has become impractical. You have the right to a fair trial and a jury of your peers yet rarely is the jury a population sample that is reflective of the age and race of the accused. The most glaring issue that made me write this article is the erosion of the right to free speech.

Speaking your mind in America is perfectly fine so long as you do not hold any public office, or legitimate job. We live in a world where words; spoken, written or even tweeted can cost you your job. It is one thing when your comments are beyond inflammatory and racist or hate fueled. Its another when comments whether seemingly harmless or not are blown out of proportion. Just ask Roland Martin, who lost his position with CNN for these tweets during the Superbowl, or Ozzie Guillen who said that he respected Fidel Castro for his ability to survive with so many enemies. Outside of public celebrities this man was fired for expressing outrage that the NFL team he worked for released one of its legends. There are plenty of examples that you will find where a simple comment, Tweet or Facebook post can damage a persons life.

It is one thing when your comments reveal a lie or betray company secrets, its another when they are pure expressions of opinion true free speaking on an issue controversial or not. Its sad when an opinion in this world can cost you your job, where is the freedom in that? If we truly have the freedom to speak and express in words, writing and any other art forms the we should be able to due so without the constant peril of consequence. I am not advocating recklessness, but expression, freedom to have an opinion and share it with those whom are willing to hear. Unfortunately in today's world we must be careful what we say, because your freedom to speak has a price...

The Blogger You Deserve

More than once I have said I was going to start writing again. I probably do not have any followers anymore and I don't blame them. I used to have an excellent blog full of poetry, opinion pieces, and reviews covering a wide spread variety of topics. It is true I have had a lot go on in my life that  have derailed my desire to write but now it is truly time to come back. Once again I will provide the stark views, and honest truth that made this blog a profound perspective. My next piece will come this afternoon with more to follow.  I am @PositiveControl and I am once again the writer you deserve

The Steel Rose

How did you do it for so long?
How did you grow? With so little help along?
How did you plant seeds and steer them away from wrong?
Maybe because you’re a steel rose, so beautiful and strong.


How did you provide so much love and care?
When others faltered you picked up their share.
All alone you did the work of a pair.
Is it because you’re a steel rose so beautiful and rare?


You gave your all until your last exhaust.
The lessons you gave will never be lost.
In the coldest of days you shielded us from the frost.
Is it because you’re a steel rose, priceless and without cost?


I know God is real because only he could create you.
You are the epitome of a mother powerful and true.
Now you will rest in Christ's arms and receive your due.
Because you’re a steel rose, and there will never be another like you.

In Memory of Beverly Gloria Watson

 March 15, 1959-December 28, 2011

Don't Give Love A Bad Name

I sit here pondering all that has happened to my family and in my personal life in the past year and I can humbly admit that I have given love a bad name. I think many of us are guilty of such at times. We let the frustrations of life build to a point of no return until the explode on the unsuspecting bystander which is usually a loved one. We all take out pain, anger, dissapointment, and frustration in ways we may not even think about or notice. The key is to not let it put a strain on your loved ones and those who care about you.
When it does boil over make sure you fix it. Pride can be a terrible thing, be willing to come back and admit your anger and frustration and your own wrongdoing. If you have been done wrong do not let your hurt close your heart to those who are trying to apologize. Life is so precious and so short to allow our emotions to destroy relationships in the heat of a single moment.

Too often I have seen family members, friends, lovers, separate and not speak all because of often petty arguments. Be willing to admit and understand when and how your wrong. Be willing to work to fix it. Sometimes there are situations when a person is not worth your time but there are also situations where we can give love a bad name.